Hamper Happiness

You've arrived but there's no welcome hamper. All you've got is a packet of Pringles and two Ginster sausage rolls. You should have listened to self-catering veteran Diana Cambridge.

YOU’RE here! You’ve located your self-catering cottage or apartment – eventually – negotiated the door code, carried your bags in and exclaimed over the comfort of your home-from-home.

The first cork needs to be popped – but where’s the corkscrew or bottle opener? And how do you work the one provided, if they have been provided by the owner?

You’re hungry, but that carrier bag of food you’ve filled hastily at a service station doesn’t seem very appetising. You could go out but it’s late and raining and anyway, you don’t know where to go. Still, it’s a lovely holiday – or it will be tomorrow!

I’ve had lots of great self-catering holidays, and much prefer them to hotels, but more than a few arrivals have been exactly like the one I’ve described.

Now, I pack carefully, food and drink-wise, so that a delicious supper can be on the table within ten minutes of locating the kitchen. That’s what I call self-catering!

Here are my practical hamper tips for different budgets and occasions – and some suggestions for owners on what to leave for their guests. Please, no ancient shortbread biscuits in little packets of two, cast offs from Holiday Inns, or “individual” coffee sachets that should be in The British Museum.

Blow-out romantic hamper

YOU want this to be quick to assemble, non-messy – you might want to have breakfast in bed – and festive. Include:
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• One or two bottles of Champagne or prosecco, and wine, plus your own corkscrew;„„
• A large pack of smoked salmon;„„
• “Artisan” sliced bread from Morrisons or Waitrose;„„
• Two lemons, and a small tub of black pepper;„„
• Plain Kettle crisps;„„
• Rocket;„„
• Soft-spread butter;„„
• A ready-to-eat lemon pie or cheesecake;„„
• Paper napkins, candles and matches.

When you arrive, put a couple of wine glasses into the freezer and assemble the sandwiches – rocket, smoked salmon, sprinkle with lemon and black pepper, and arrange crisps on the side.
Your lemon pie or cheesecake goes in the freezer. You’ll probably forget it’s there, but you could well enjoy it the next day. Light the candles. You’re now ready to open the bubbly – and eat!

Breakfast bliss

FOR your “romantic breakfast” (no irony intended – you’d still like this, even if you’ve been together for 30 years) the next day, you should have packed:
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• Croissants in an airtight cellophane wrap;„„
• A small jar of peach or apricot jam;„„
• Some fruit – bananas are easiest;„„
• Your own coffee, decanted into a jam jar;„„
• Single cream, and a carton of milk.

In-house meals

IF YOU’RE going to continue the theme and not eat out much, add one ready-prepared poussin – try www.gressinghamduck.co.uk, sold in Waitrose – a bag of leaves and sachets of dressing. Slam the poussin into the oven (you don’t have to baste it) and serve with your mixed salad.

If you buy two poussins and cook both, you’ve got one to take as a cold packed lunch on your romantic stroll by the sea. Cram in a half of prosecco as well for your walk, plus two paper cups.

Don’t forget nibbles – mixed nuts and raisins, Japanese rice crackers and salted peanuts. Go for the best, not the cheapest, in the supermarket. Ready-prepared Thai meals in cartons from a supermarket – duck with pineapple, lemon rice, chicken and cashew nuts, mixed vegetables – are delicious time-savers. Pick the latest sell-by date, add prawn crackers and Thai fish cakes. You’ll have no cooking at all, will save money on restaurant meals and still have memorable lunches or dinners.

Budget hamper

YOU want to get away, but you don’t want to damage your bank balance – if you have one!
Keep things very simple and do not under any circumstances buy “interesting” cheeses and breads from local delis. They’re far too expensive.

Instead, shop carefully at your local market before you leave – pick the good but reduced cheeses, some long-lasting sliced wholemeal bread, and fresh tomatoes and fruit. For dinners, just take pasta and some ready-prepared basil and tinned tomato sauces. I can’t see a man on his own creating a carefully-sourced Italian dinner from scratch; a woman might, but you’re there to get away from domestic jobs.

For a change, try a fish and chip take-away – they’re usually excellent at the sea side. If it’s for two of you, have two fish portions but one bag of chips. They always give you too many chips, and you’re on a budget.

For many of us, wine is an absolute necessity, budget or no budget. Check out the offers in your local supermarkets and go for the quality wines with the largest mark-down, not the cheapest. A £12 bottle marked down to £6.99 is much better value than a £3.99 bottle of very average plonk.

Do it in advance

Provisioning for a self-catering holiday can seem like a chore and put off to the last minute. See it as something enjoyable to do – even a challenge – and get the whole thing done and dusted a couple of days before you set off.

If you adore cooking and want to make exquisite layered mousses and drizzle things on desserts you’ve slaved over for hours, you won’t need my advice.
But in that case, why go self-catering? You could just stay in your own kitchen!


To read more about Hamper happiness in our Spring magazine click here